Finding calm in the chaos

‘The quickest way to change the world is to like it the way it is’ - A R Ammons a poem called Old Geezer

Dear Reader,

In this mornings Rest & Restoration meditation class we explored finding calm in the midst of chaos. It can be deceiving. I’m looking around the mess and chaos of my home and reflecting on how during the most challenging times of my life my outside world has appeared its most ordered. I was obsessed with a tidy, uncluttered, social media ready level of minimalism, spaces and timetables micromanaged to the millimetre. Internally a fiery furnace of disorder, extreme anxiety, panic attacks and chaos loomed like a pot of water simmering away with a lid on ready to spill over at any moment, creating more mess to clear up. There is the saying that cleanliness is close to Godliness, but my internal world was as close to a living hell as I could imagine.

Chaos is inevitable and unavoidable and can take many forms, it can relate to how we feel inside, the chaos of others, our environments or simply that junk draw that always seems to fill up despite the promise that this time, yes this time, the cables will be organised and not get tangled up with the other objects that don’t seem to have their own home.

It has taken years to finally sit in peace with physical mess, probably linked to the time I’ve spent sitting in stillness meditating with and observing my internal mess, talking about it in therapy and finally moving into a space of letting go of trying to control and fix everything and everyone.

Nothing is permanent. The dishes will always need doing. The chaos of my home is open for you all to see above and below. The beauty in the mess the picture above was taken in exactly the same space as the slideshow below, they’re both real and true but I know where the lense of my attention will be trained. Of course I’d prefer it didn’t look like this, and it doesn’t all of the time but people dropping over for a cup of tea will be welcomed in and no apologies are made. ‘Clear a space for yourself on the sofa’ I’ll say ‘’ll make you a cup of tea and we can chat about the important things’.

The to do lists will never be finished, life is inevitably unsatisfactoriness and if we can just give ourselves the space to listen and pay attention to it perhaps we can find the calm in the chaos. Find it where you can or perhaps with me through the activity focused intervention of mindful meditation. Train your brain a little and work on the lense of your attention in this area in the Rest & Restoration class here, the ‘Chaos’ session is 10€/£ or for 70€/£ you can have access to the full mind and body integration series including the 3 previous sessions and the upcoming 5.

My home is a beautiful space to be in and it is worthy of the one hour it takes to tidy, I’ll put on a podcast and pay attention to at some point this afternoon.

We are heading into another bank holiday weekend, and the weather here in the south of France is glorious. My husband is away and I’m going to spend my time with my children at a literature festival, go and eat some frogs legs at a village fete dedicated to this delicacy, I’ll walk the dog, and prepare as many picnics as possible.

Warmly,

Josephine

UPDATE The house is tidy. It’s nice. The children will be home soon but I will bask in the glory of my work for a moment over a cup of tea..

If you would like to support my work you can treat me to a cup of tea here.